Weber State University Athletics
Rylin Adams opens up about her battle with an eating disorder
7/31/2020 11:16:00 AM | Women's Volleyball
Being a student-athlete is hard. Ask any of them. There is an immense amount of pressure coming at them from all directions. To perform on the court or the field, to perform in the classroom and the weight room. Student-athletes push their minds and their bodies to the limits to put themselves in a place of success. With all these pressures, sometimes it's hard to maintain a healthy level of perfection.Â
Weber State volleyball senior Rylin Adams knows the pressure of perfection all too well. The pressure to perform as a top tier athlete led Adams to a place she never thought she'd find herself. Adams never thought she'd struggle with a mental illness but she has been fighting an eating disorder for over a year.Â
"When I was a freshman I never thought anything about mental illnesses," Adams said. "I honestly thought that people with mental illnesses were weak or are not mentally tough. I never thought that I would deal with something like this. After my freshman year, I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Philippines.Â
"On my mission I had struggles with food and with the change in exercise and other components I had limited control over while serving. When I came home in June I only had two months to get into shape for the upcoming season. I immediately became obsessed with tracking my progress. I would take progression pictures every day. I didn't really have an appetite for food and I thought of that as a good thing.The longer I could push off eating the quicker I could lose weight and get into shape. I became obsessed with this lifestyle.
"I did get back into shape and was able to start my sophomore year. But it got out of hand at the end of my sophomore year when it became my identity. I became so obsessed with losing weight. Every pound that I lost was a reward for myself. I truly found that value in restricting my food and losing weight."
Adams knew she needed help and that her behaviors were unhealthy. The first person she went to was head coach Jeremiah Larsen.Â
"Last summer, after my sophomore year, I was praying and meditating about it and I had this strong impression to ask for help," Adams said. "I immediately texted coach Larsen and said 'Hey, I think I have an issue, can I come talk to you?' Of course, he was there for me. He helped me get in with a dietician and to the counseling center and we started getting the help that I needed. It definitely took a long time for me to admit that I have a problem and asking for help was hard but it's definitely been worth it."
"It was a little over a year ago when Rylin came in and told me about the eating disorder she was dealing with," Larsen said. "I had actually noticed her weight dropping over time and I actually asked her about how she was doing and she told me she was not eating at times. In June she came to grips with what she was fighting and came in and asked for help. I think it's a huge thing for her. She realized that what she was doing was hurting her so she asked for help from me. Which I took very seriously and I was honored with the fact that she trusted me enough to come to me and share that."
There are certain qualities that help student-athletes become successful, determination and drive, striving to be the best, and never giving up, to name a few. What most don't realize is that those qualities are often what drive the mindset of people who have eating disorders.Â
"If you look at characteristics of people who are top athletes, and you look at the characteristics of people who have eating disorders, they are very similar," Adams said. "There is a fine line between the two and having those qualities relates to anyone with an eating disorder when it comes to restricting food, going the extra mile and being a perfectionist. I have all those characteristics I just lost track of where they're supposed to be."Â
Getting back on track has been Adams' goal for the last year. She meets with a dietician and therapist weekly as well as following strict meal plans.Â
"Every day I have a meal plan that I'm supposed to follow," Which sounds lame, it's just eating food, but honestly it's something that is very difficult for me. I have to use coping skills and different things to accomplish my meal plans. I'm also a part of support groups that meet every week and it all takes up a big chunk of my time."
When Adams entered her sophomore season she made a shift from an outside hitter to a libero/defensive specialist. She maintained her ability as an outside but also learned and honed in her back row defensive skills. Just as she learned new abilities on the court, Adams is now faced with a challenge of re-training the way her mind thinks.Â
"The greatest challenge she has had to face is how to restructure her mind and how she thinks," Larsen said. "The best thing about Rylin is that she will never back down from a fight. She's going to keep fighting and never stop and that's how I know she'll overcome this and continue being successful."
Opening up and sharing her story was one of her fears but she's found more benefits and rewards as well as opened a new network of friends and supporters.Â
"I ran across an Instagram account called The Hidden Opponent and its purpose is to bring awareness to student-athlete mental health," Adams said. "As I went from somebody who thought mental health was a joke to somebody who struggles with it, I've become very passionate about it. One of the challenges of The Hidden Opponent is to share your story. That was difficult for me because I'm a shy and quiet person. I don't like people knowing things about me. I posted my story about how I struggle with an eating disorder as a student-athlete and the response I got was crazy. There were so many people that reached out to me and told me struggles they were dealing with. It was a positive thing that came out of it.
"Last summer when I was at one of my lowest points, a girl I went to high school with, who runs track and field at Southern Utah posted on Instagram opening up about her bulimia and how she had to take a semester off of school to focus on herself," Adams said. "It really inspired me and made me feel like I'm not alone. There are other student athletes who struggle with mental health. When I shared my story, I had teammates, former teammates, friends and family reach out to me saying they struggle with it too, it made me realize that I'm not alone and I felt horrible for feeling that loneliness when there are so many people all around me struggling with mental illness."
Oftentimes, mental health is overlooked or considered a weakness. It can also be joked about or taken lightly. When Adams' asked for help it was an opportunity to become more aware and take things more seriously for both Adams' and the Weber State Wildcat community.Â
"For me it's been an incredible eye opening experience," Larsen said. "It's brought something that people joke and kid about front and center to my life. It's changed the way I interact with our players and talk about their weight and fitness. It has changed the way I look at myself. Oftentimes during the season I struggle eating because of stress and now I realize that it is not a good example for our players. The way I talk about eating disorders and anorexia and bulimia has changed. It's a much more serious topic for me now because of what Rylin is going through."
Adams' journey is far from over. The road to recovery is a long one and one she is still in the middle of. She has big plans for her future and wants to help others struggling with the same issues. Currently she is studying social work at Weber State. She later hopes to become a counselor to help others with mental illnesses and eating disorders.Â
"The advice I have for student-athletes and people in general is to humble yourself and open yourself up for help," Adams said. "Ask for help because not everyone has it all together and it's ok to struggle. Another thing I would say especially for student-athletes is to take care of your mental health just as you do your physical health. If someone breaks their leg they get in and do everything to recover as fast as possible, it's the same with your brain and mental illnesses. There are people to help and treatment you can go to and get help with because it's just as important to recover your mental health.Â
"For me and my journey I'm still in the middle of it," Adams said. "I'm not going to say I'm recovered because I'm not. I'm right in the heat of it. My goal is to become a therapist and work with other student-athletes and help them. I know what it's like. I've been in the middle of it. I really hope to inspire, help and connect with others."
For more information on student-athletes and mental health visit:Â https://thehiddenopponent.com/Â
Weber State volleyball senior Rylin Adams knows the pressure of perfection all too well. The pressure to perform as a top tier athlete led Adams to a place she never thought she'd find herself. Adams never thought she'd struggle with a mental illness but she has been fighting an eating disorder for over a year.Â
"When I was a freshman I never thought anything about mental illnesses," Adams said. "I honestly thought that people with mental illnesses were weak or are not mentally tough. I never thought that I would deal with something like this. After my freshman year, I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Philippines.Â
"On my mission I had struggles with food and with the change in exercise and other components I had limited control over while serving. When I came home in June I only had two months to get into shape for the upcoming season. I immediately became obsessed with tracking my progress. I would take progression pictures every day. I didn't really have an appetite for food and I thought of that as a good thing.The longer I could push off eating the quicker I could lose weight and get into shape. I became obsessed with this lifestyle.
"I did get back into shape and was able to start my sophomore year. But it got out of hand at the end of my sophomore year when it became my identity. I became so obsessed with losing weight. Every pound that I lost was a reward for myself. I truly found that value in restricting my food and losing weight."
Adams knew she needed help and that her behaviors were unhealthy. The first person she went to was head coach Jeremiah Larsen.Â
"Last summer, after my sophomore year, I was praying and meditating about it and I had this strong impression to ask for help," Adams said. "I immediately texted coach Larsen and said 'Hey, I think I have an issue, can I come talk to you?' Of course, he was there for me. He helped me get in with a dietician and to the counseling center and we started getting the help that I needed. It definitely took a long time for me to admit that I have a problem and asking for help was hard but it's definitely been worth it."
"It was a little over a year ago when Rylin came in and told me about the eating disorder she was dealing with," Larsen said. "I had actually noticed her weight dropping over time and I actually asked her about how she was doing and she told me she was not eating at times. In June she came to grips with what she was fighting and came in and asked for help. I think it's a huge thing for her. She realized that what she was doing was hurting her so she asked for help from me. Which I took very seriously and I was honored with the fact that she trusted me enough to come to me and share that."
There are certain qualities that help student-athletes become successful, determination and drive, striving to be the best, and never giving up, to name a few. What most don't realize is that those qualities are often what drive the mindset of people who have eating disorders.Â
"If you look at characteristics of people who are top athletes, and you look at the characteristics of people who have eating disorders, they are very similar," Adams said. "There is a fine line between the two and having those qualities relates to anyone with an eating disorder when it comes to restricting food, going the extra mile and being a perfectionist. I have all those characteristics I just lost track of where they're supposed to be."Â
Getting back on track has been Adams' goal for the last year. She meets with a dietician and therapist weekly as well as following strict meal plans.Â
"Every day I have a meal plan that I'm supposed to follow," Which sounds lame, it's just eating food, but honestly it's something that is very difficult for me. I have to use coping skills and different things to accomplish my meal plans. I'm also a part of support groups that meet every week and it all takes up a big chunk of my time."
When Adams entered her sophomore season she made a shift from an outside hitter to a libero/defensive specialist. She maintained her ability as an outside but also learned and honed in her back row defensive skills. Just as she learned new abilities on the court, Adams is now faced with a challenge of re-training the way her mind thinks.Â
"The greatest challenge she has had to face is how to restructure her mind and how she thinks," Larsen said. "The best thing about Rylin is that she will never back down from a fight. She's going to keep fighting and never stop and that's how I know she'll overcome this and continue being successful."
Opening up and sharing her story was one of her fears but she's found more benefits and rewards as well as opened a new network of friends and supporters.Â
"I ran across an Instagram account called The Hidden Opponent and its purpose is to bring awareness to student-athlete mental health," Adams said. "As I went from somebody who thought mental health was a joke to somebody who struggles with it, I've become very passionate about it. One of the challenges of The Hidden Opponent is to share your story. That was difficult for me because I'm a shy and quiet person. I don't like people knowing things about me. I posted my story about how I struggle with an eating disorder as a student-athlete and the response I got was crazy. There were so many people that reached out to me and told me struggles they were dealing with. It was a positive thing that came out of it.
"Last summer when I was at one of my lowest points, a girl I went to high school with, who runs track and field at Southern Utah posted on Instagram opening up about her bulimia and how she had to take a semester off of school to focus on herself," Adams said. "It really inspired me and made me feel like I'm not alone. There are other student athletes who struggle with mental health. When I shared my story, I had teammates, former teammates, friends and family reach out to me saying they struggle with it too, it made me realize that I'm not alone and I felt horrible for feeling that loneliness when there are so many people all around me struggling with mental illness."
Oftentimes, mental health is overlooked or considered a weakness. It can also be joked about or taken lightly. When Adams' asked for help it was an opportunity to become more aware and take things more seriously for both Adams' and the Weber State Wildcat community.Â
"For me it's been an incredible eye opening experience," Larsen said. "It's brought something that people joke and kid about front and center to my life. It's changed the way I interact with our players and talk about their weight and fitness. It has changed the way I look at myself. Oftentimes during the season I struggle eating because of stress and now I realize that it is not a good example for our players. The way I talk about eating disorders and anorexia and bulimia has changed. It's a much more serious topic for me now because of what Rylin is going through."
Adams' journey is far from over. The road to recovery is a long one and one she is still in the middle of. She has big plans for her future and wants to help others struggling with the same issues. Currently she is studying social work at Weber State. She later hopes to become a counselor to help others with mental illnesses and eating disorders.Â
"The advice I have for student-athletes and people in general is to humble yourself and open yourself up for help," Adams said. "Ask for help because not everyone has it all together and it's ok to struggle. Another thing I would say especially for student-athletes is to take care of your mental health just as you do your physical health. If someone breaks their leg they get in and do everything to recover as fast as possible, it's the same with your brain and mental illnesses. There are people to help and treatment you can go to and get help with because it's just as important to recover your mental health.Â
"For me and my journey I'm still in the middle of it," Adams said. "I'm not going to say I'm recovered because I'm not. I'm right in the heat of it. My goal is to become a therapist and work with other student-athletes and help them. I know what it's like. I've been in the middle of it. I really hope to inspire, help and connect with others."
For more information on student-athletes and mental health visit:Â https://thehiddenopponent.com/Â
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